No, No, No! You Got the Wrong Guy!
by HappyPNF
Summary: AU alternate Harry - Harry Jackson has been your average high-school guy. Good grades, a star tennis player, a sorta chick-magnet, and with some magical powers all in one. But what happens when a masked hooded man comes and tries to kill him? His world becomes more than just his high-school world… especially when you have a snake-face in the picture.


**A/N: So this was just a story idea that crept onto my mind. AU of course. Timeline is totally off, so don't expect this fic to adhere to the year 1991 or whatever year the HP universe is in. If anyone is asking, Harry and his friends are 16.  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. That is JK Rowling's. Otherwise, I'd be a filthy rich sun-tanning teen on a beach right now.**

Harry Jackson kept his hands in his pockets as he walked into Ennis High School. Humming a tune, he walked towards the lockers, which were up one level to the right of the staircase. To his left, a boy about the same age with a slightly bulkier build and blonde hair with a pair of blue eyes fiddled slightly with something in his pocket. To Harry's right, a girl about the same age that was a bushy brunette with a pair of brown eyes carried a handful of books, reading one on top of the stack. Next to the blonde boy, a red-headed boy with the same build as the blonde with a pair of dark-brown eyes whistled a tune out loud, sounding something alike, "Work B***h."

Harry opened his locker and stuffed his tennis equipment inside, having already gone through the tennis practice in the morning. Grabbing some books, he shut the locker and shouldered his backpack. Looking to the others, he started with the brunette.

"Hey Hermione! How's your morning?"

The brunette was still immersed into some text and took a moment before she replied, "Oh. Hi Harry! Yeah, it's normal. Just a plate of pancakes, a dash of syrup, and a really nice novel."

She then went back to the book she was reading, completely ignoring her surroundings. Harry then looked at the blonde, "So how's your morning Ed?"

The blonde in question was fiddling with something in his locker, "Hmm? Oh yeah, it's great. Just preparing for a really good Chemistry lab today."

Harry shook his head, "I don't need to know what you are planning to do Ed. Just make sure it doesn't smell like shit when you make things got ka-boom. Geez... the students last week from the Chemistry after lunch was horrible."

Ed stopped his fiddling and shut his locker. He put on a pair of innocent eyes, "What? That's crazy Harry! I wonder how that happened?"

Harry replied, "Gee! I wonder why every class with Ed ends with at least one person ending up in bed. You know what? Forget what I just said… that didn't sound right."

Ed chuckled, "Don't deny it Harry; I'm a very eligible bachelor right here. Here, let me demonstrate."

Ed whistled at a girl down a couple lockers, "Hey! You wanna go on a date tonight?"

The girl blushed and quickly went away.

Ed pointed at the quickly retreating figure, "See Harry? You can't deny my sexiness."

Harry lightly punched Ed, "Yeah, whatever. We're not here to emphasize your need to boost your ego. And I don't swing that way dude."

Yep… that was Ed. Harry then asked the red-head, "So are you going to be anything unusual?"

The red-head slightly chuckled, "Nope, just got off football practice. And no, I'm not helping Ed today."

And so a normal day begins for Harry and his friends at Ennis High.

* * *

Lunch came around and Harry unpacked his lunch or actually lunches. How the hell are you supposed to eat the shit they serve anyways? Did you even see the hamburgers? Urgh… they taste like… you know what? Don't ask. The green beans? More like water tasting green colored tubes. The pizza? The word toppings was completely lost from the dictionary. Ok… the explanation is finished. Harry distributed the four platters of grilled chicken with mac 'n cheese and bread along with a cookie to the three friends that sat around the table. Seating himself, he quickly thought of heat and made his food warm up. His three friends did exactly the same thing and they started eating the nice and warm homemade food instead of … mass produced government-run shit. As Harry chewed on some of the chicken, a sickeningly sweet voice pierced the air, "Oh hello _Harrrry_. Could I sit with you today?"

Geez, does she know what no means? And stretching out the name Harry does not give you brownie points.

Harry flatly glared at the red-headed girl with clothing that was barely within the school guidelines. Who allows a shirt that lets the twin mounds jiggle and move with every step? And those shorts that were barely covering her ass? Yeah, that's totally not appropriate. Harry replied, "Ginny, I told you, no. N-O. You know the word that means you are not welcome here?"

Ginny pouted and leaned forwards. Ah! The horror! S.C.A.-RRED FOR LIFE! You know, S.C.A? Slut cleavage alert? Nah, you probably didn't as its some corny acronym, but who cares? Harry pushed Ginny away slightly, "Ok, rule number one, DO NOT come near me. Two, get the hell out of here."

Ginny's lips flatlined and she glared at Harry, "Deny all you want Harry, you know you want it."

Harry bumped his head onto the table, "Guys, any suggestions on how to rid of a really creepy red-head?"

Ed grinned wolfishly, "Oh yes Harry; that can be certainly arranged."

A small explosion could be heard in the direction of the jock's table. A dozen football players immediately started running out of the cafeteria. Harry raised an eyebrow at Ed, "And what did they do to incur your wrath today?"

Ed starting digging into his food, "Huhh? Whut 're 'ou talking a'out?"

Harry shook his head, "Oh, like a random explosion happens all the time here. Very believable when we have a pyromanic here."

Boom.

Another explosion… somewhere in another corner.

Harry saw it was… you know what, that was a good way to rid of that bugging red-head for the moment, "Thanks Ed and I am not going to ask you how the hell you did that when you didn't even stop eating… but for the love of God, could you just make it a peaceful day from now on?"

Pffttt…

Harry groaned, "Ok, who the hell just farted?"

Ed raised his hands up, "Hey! Don't look at poor Ed here! What did Ed do?"

* * *

The rest of the day went… smoothly. Except a bottle of copper somehow exploded in the Chemistry lab. Don't ask how, it just happens magically.

Harry his tennis racquet from his locker, slung his backpack on, and walked out towards the previous generation Mercedes S-350 that parked outside. Hey, it's called stretching the dollar and getting a nice ride at the same time. Opening the trunk, he stowed his belongings into the trunk. He stuck the key-fob in the ignition and waited for his three friends to pile in. Doors opening and slamming shut, the car slightly shook as three bodies went inside the car. Harry took a quick survey, "Ready guys?"

The three nodded and Harry drove out of the high-school, having finished another day of school. Now it was for the second round of the day.

Harry parked the car outside of a medium sized two-story home in an urban neighborhood. A tree was planted in the backyard and the front lawn was obviously well-kept and green. Harry entered the house first and sat on the couch, waiting for his friends to take a seat.

Seeing that everyone was seated, Harry started, "Alright guys, so anything of note today?"

Ed shrugged, "The norm here."

Ron replied, "Same here, nothing to note."

Hermione agreed with Ed and Ron, "Nope, so far nothing odd."

Harry nodded, "That's good. So no-one caught us doing any magic right?"

A chorus of "yeah's" was heard.

Harry opened a tome on the small coffee table and flipped towards the things that need to be done for today. And today is… to do absolutely nothing. Hmm… that's odd.

Harry looked up from the tome, "Looks like we have a free day guys. So what do you guys want to do?"

Hermione shrugged, "I'll be off to Barnes & Nobles. I think that that Inheritance just came out."

Ed and Ron looked at each other and grinned. Ed started, "Ron, I think I know what we are going to do today!"

Harry groaned and shook his head. He hoped those two wouldn't go into too much trouble. Defining trouble as like blowing up the previous mayor's statue (not that it was a bad thing) or making Costco shoppers run towards the exit (ok, that was uncalled for).

Harry called out to them, "Ok! But remember to be back by seven!"

Ed, Ron, and Hermione quickly left the house and doing whatever they are doing. Harry just sat back and remembered why the hell he was here in the first place.

* * *

_Harry got the skillet and started to make some eggs and sausage. Except it wasn't for him; it was for that whale uncle of his. And his razor-thin and gaunt aunt. And that bloated pig that was their son. Yep, a very much of a goodwill gesture on Harry's end. Except that if Harry didn't make the breakfast, he wouldn't get any himself and he would get that lashes. "Shivers" After finishing that, Harry had to go and clean the kitchen up from the breakfast. Then he had to move on to the rest of the house. Then lunch came along and he fixed a meal. Clean up afterwards and continue cleaning the house. Dinner came along, which of course means another meal fixed. Then clean up and then make sure the house is spotless. Then go take the trash out, weed the garden, and water the plants. After that, trim the grass and mow the lawn when necessary. When finished, Harry then could tuck into a 10x10 cupboard and a 3x2 cot with a rag blanket along with a pair of pajamas that seriously needed some sewing. Yep, Harry was living a good life._

_All of that changed though one day. Harry woke up as usual and fixed the breakfast. But today, there was no uncle. There was no aunt; there was no pig spawn. Today a grizzled old man took a seat._

_The man spoke, "Well hello there Harry Potter."_

_Harry was stuck. Who the hell is he? Is this one of those relatives like Aunt Marge? Harry immediately started putting together a breakfast. While doing that, he quickly said, "Hi."_

_The man pointed at the pan and the food in Harry's hand and made them freeze. Harry gaped at the man. Was that just magic? The man chuckled, "Oh yes Harry, that was magic alright."_

_Harry slightly gasped as any five-year old would. Did the man just read his mind?_

_The man continued to chuckle, "Yes Harry, I can see your thoughts. It's not really "reading minds" you know, there's actually a name for it. And to be precise, it's actually an art."_

_Harry was confused at all of this new information. The old man just smiled at the young boy, "Don't worry Harry, you will learn all of this eventually. Now to start, you are well known in the wizarding world Harry Potter. That lightning bolt scar on your forehead is the very embodiment that testifies your survival of the Avada Kedavra. As I said, all will be clear as you grow older. For now, I can help you grow up as normally as possible. For that to happen, I will become your adoptive father."_

_Harry immediately grinned, "Really?"_

_The man continued smiling at the boy, but inside, he was sickened by the treatment those muggles were treating this boy and the future of the boy. He saw for himself that this boy has the potential, along with the fact he survived the killing-curse, this boy was certainly going to be a powerful pawn. He was just going to make sure that pawn wasn't going to play for any side unless it was of Harry's volition though. He was not blind; Dumbledore was the charging light-sided leader. To the other side, Voldemort was the symbol of the dark-side. No, he could not allow Harry to become a pawn in their game. He would let Harry decide his own fate._

_The man replied, "Definitely Harry. First thing though, for now, you will be name Harry Jackson."_

_Harry took a moment before he repeated, "My name is Harry Jackson."_

_The old man nodded, "Good Harry. Now to the next part. You will no longer live here with these people. I'll show you around my place."_

_Harry left the food and pan in mid-air (still frozen by magic) and tentatively walked towards the old man. The old man continued smiling, encouraging the boy that he was no threat. Harry slowly picked up the pace until he was beside the old man, "Now what do I do?"_

_The old man gripped Harry's hand, "I will apparate us to my place. Get ready!"_

_Harry didn't know what "apparate" was. Well, whatever it is, Harry felt like he just went into a really tight tube. Disoriented, Harry opened his eyes to see a normal looking two-story home._

_Harry pointed at the house, "So you live here sir?"_

_The old man nodded, "Yes Harry. How about I introduce you to some children of your age?"_

_Harry eagerly nodded, "That's sounds good sir!"_

_The old man led Harry into the the home and Harry was met by three other children about his age. There was a girl with bushy brown hair, a boy with blonde hair, and another boy with red-hair. Harry tentatively waved at the three, "Err… hello."_

_The girl smiled, "You must be Harry! Merlin has been talking about you for the last couple weeks!"_

_The blonde boy stuck his hand out, "Well, if it's Harry, then welcome and my name is James, but call me Ed. If you are not Harry, then get ready to scram."_

_The red-headed boy just looked on shyly, "Uh, hi Harry."_

_Harry shook the Ed's hand, "Um, hello Ed. Yeah, I'm Harry."_

_Harry then looked at the girl and the red-headed boy, "So you all know that I'm Harry, so what are your names?"_

_The girl said, "Hermione Granger."_

_The red-headed boy said, "Ron. Just Ron."_

_Harry grinned, "Hi Hermione Granger! Hi Ron just Ron!"_

_Hermione slightly giggled at that and Ed kept back his grin. Ron shook his head, "It's just Ron."_

_Harry replied, "Hello just Ron!"_

_Ron groaned, "No Harry! It's Ron!"_

_ Harry grinned again, "Just kidding. So it's Hermione, Ron, and James?"_

_They nodded._

_Harry looked at the old man, "So what is your name?"_

_The old man smiled, "Just call me Merlin."_

_Harry chewed on it, "Mer-lin. M-e-r-l-i-n… sounds cool! I like the name Merlin!"_

_The old man chuckled, "Thank you Harry. Now breakfast is in order I believe."_

_The old man clapped and the table in the living room with five chairs immediately has some steaming hot eggs, sausage, bacon, and waffles appear._

_Hermione, Ed, and Ron immediately took seats. Harry just copied their move and Merlin sat himself at the head of the table. Merlin said, "Ok Harry, here's the rules. Rule number one; never stray out of the house unless I tell you it's ok. Rule number two, NEVER trust strangers. Rule number three, there are to be NO fights in this house. And last of all, rule number four, you must make sure that your poo and urine is disposed of properly in the restroom. Any questions?"_

_Harry shook his head, "No sir."_

_When Harry said that, he accidentally let fly a small piece of bacon at the person sitting in front of him, which happened to be Ed._

_Ed disgustedly wiped the piece of bacon off his forehead, "Urgh! Gross Harry!"_

_Harry slightly flinched at Ed's tone, but was soon met by a waffle hitting his face. Harry took the waffle off and looked at Ed, who was laughing._

_Ed cracked a grin and pointed at Harry, "Everybody! Let's show Harry a proper food fight!"_

_Needless to say, the food was spent for reasons completely off of the original intent of being consumed._

* * *

Harry smiled when he remembered how he met his three friends. Actually, it's more like brothers and sisters at this point. Harry went outside and decided he wanted to take a walk; a quick breather wouldn't hurt right?

Harry walked down the urban neighborhood and enjoyed the time spent outside even though this was urban. Who the hell cares? He rounded a corner to find a hooded man sticking a stick at his forehead.

* * *

**A/N: Ok, that's it for now. Any reviews are always appreciated.**

**As for pairings, it's undetermined at this point.**


End file.
